I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
