i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
