I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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