So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
