just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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