eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
