I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
