So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
