remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
