Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
