no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
