either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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