That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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