At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
