Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
