I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
