The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
