Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
