It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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