i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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