I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
