I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
