Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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