We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
