nut hugger
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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