I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Can you bring me the toilet please
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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