You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It's Friday. Sex?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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