Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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