Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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