I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
