is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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