Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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