I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize