So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
