i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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