I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
its not stalking. its research.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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