Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
