i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
