eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize