I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
