i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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