I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
