he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
