I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
