But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
