I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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