Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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