your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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