he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
