Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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