Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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