I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
