Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
