I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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