So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
