fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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