you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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