these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
