Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize