no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
